So Yesterday I took test number 2 of 8 and I rocked it. I got a B on it. YEAH!!! I am already scheduled for the next 3 exams between now and the 14th of October. Then I will just have my last 3 med surg tests to cover. It is going quickly and is easier than I expected. I guess I learned something in that crazy program I was in. Thanks for all your encouragement!
The marathon is 73 days away. By now, I had planned to have at least one 18 mile run done but unfortunately, I had a 3 week stretch with little running. Normally I run anywhere from 30min to an hour during the week and then on Saturday I have my long run which progresses in miles every week. I try to run at least 3 runs in the 20 mile distance before the race. You never run over 23 miles in training because at this distance it really only hurts your training rather than help it. However, due to an injury at work and some other problems, my running stalled for 3 weeks. This week, I was finally able to get out on the road and hopefully this Saturday I will do my first long run since the 1/2 marathon.
Marathon training is an amazing experience and I love to get out on the road and just run. There is no pressure, nobody talking to you, just you, the pavement, and God. It is often when I do my best thinking and processing. Though it is not easy to stay motivated and focused week after week.
I also love to take my dog. Many think I am crazy but she loves the runs. She is so happy out on the road and enjoys every second of it. She is three now and has done lots of running with me. She knows when I am throwing on my running shoes and sits by the door just waiting for me to leash her up and head out the door.
August 16th I ran the NYC 1/2 marathon which started in Central park. There were over 15,000 runners at the starting line...by far my biggest race I have been apart of. It was amazing to be around so many runners. We had an early start, having to be in the starting corrals by 6:45am. We had some famous runners like Ryan Hall and Deana Kastor.
My goal time was to run it in under 2 hours. However, the humidity and heat was so significant that I wasn't able to make it. But I was just excited to do this race. When I crossed the finish line, I was delirious and not making much sense. A medic ended up giving me salt and lots of fluids. In the end I was fine but many people had the same reaction because of the heat. It was ironic that we have had such a cool summer and very rainy...but this was one of the hottest days of the summer. Even at 6 am heading to the starting line it was warm and muggy.
Me at the starting line. Behind me were the corrals. 
After running through central park we came out on 7th ave and ran through time square. What an amazing feeling it was when I came out of central park and to run down this street with all the buildings and we had the road to ourselves. Normally this street is packed with cars. 
So I had my first exam for my new program. And I passed with flying colors...and not by the skin of my teeth as I got used to in my other nursing program. This was the first of 8 and it was way better than exams from my previous program. So far it seems to be a great program and I am looking forward to moving through it. My next exam is Sept 15th.
I schedule the exams myself online and then go to a Pierson Testing center a few miles from my house to take the exam. I don't have to go to classes since I already have done all the nursing classes. The hardest part is keeping motivated to study daily but I really want to finish ASAP so that seems to be keeping me going.
Life has been good! I am learning a lot, getting connected and building a lot of solid friendships, back in school, and working. For the most part I have a complete and unexplainable peace about not finishing nursing school in my previous program. However, on days like today when they took their last final...there have been moments when I wish things could be different. I was so close...but I know God had His hand in it all. As the weeks have passed I can see so many things I would not have been able to be apart of because of nursing school. I have finally been able to really connect with people here and find my place here in NJ.
Today, I was speaking to one of the nursing recruiters at my hospital. She was saying that our hospital currently has a freeze on hiring new graduate nurses. This is not just happening at my hospital but many of the area hospitals. While, much of the country is facing a major shortage of nurses...NJ is not facing that currently due to so many hospitals closing down leaving experienced nurses to fill in the gaps. She told me that come January when there aren't many nursing students finishing school the picture will be much different. What a relief to hear that. The reality is that once I finish my nursing I have to give up my job as a tech. I am no longer legally able to work as a tech. So I can see just another way that things are working out for the better.
Tomorrow I am spending the day with my friend down at 6 flags Great Adventure and then Sunday I will be racing in the New York City 1/2 marathon (13.1 miles). This is a good chance for me to gauge where I am at for my marathon. I would love to do under 2 hours but my priority is to run with my friend and enjoy watching her celebrate her first ever 1/2 marathon. I find a lot of joy helping and seeing others run races like this and realize that they just accomplished a major goal.
Here is something that has spoken to my heart lately. It never ceases to amaze me that no matter how much I fail or how uncertain I can become...God's promises are faithful. Every morning no matter what happened yesterday...it is a new day and His promises are the same yesterday, today, and forever. Where else can we find such promises.
The LORD'S loving kindnesses indeed never cease,
For His compassion's never fail.
They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.
"The LORD is my portion," says my soul,
"Therefore I have hope in Him."
Lamentations 3:22-26
The LORD is good to those who wait for Him,
To the person who seeks Him.
It is good that he waits silently
For the salvation of the LORD.
Saturday the first was my churches beach day. Unfortunately I had to go to work in the afternoon...but I did make the trip for the morning. It was a perfect hot day for the beach. There were a ton of us just hanging out on the beach and enjoying some fellowship. This is there annual baptism day and I believe 7 people were baptized in the Ocean.
Since I have not been in nursing school I have really had some great opportunities to fellowship and build some good friendships with people in the church.
At one point I went swimming with my friend Saul. We originally only went into our waste level. However, the waves were very big. Considering that not much Surfing happens in NJ, and there were a ton of surfers out...that says something. Well, we proceeded to get hammered by 3 waves in a row. The kind of waves that slam you to the Ocean floor and flip you around. Saul lost his sunglasses so we decided to swim out a little further. Usually this is better because then you aren't where the Waves are breaking. Well after a bit out there the lifeguards were calling us back. He was swimming back no problem. Me on the other hand...I was swimming in place. The Riptide was so strong it was carrying me sideways toward the pier. On top of that the waves were crashing on top of me and pulling me backwards. Before the lifeguard got to me to pull me out...Saul had me hold onto his leg and pulled me out. I was a lifeguard for many years, and I am a very strong swimmer but I must say that one really took me by surprise. I know that the rule is to swim with the riptide till it breaks but I was too close to the pier and the waves were to big. Needless to say I have a new appreciation for the power of water. My friend likes to tell the story as if I really was in the shallow and I was flopping around in the water yelling "Lifeguard save me." He then says he picked me up and said SaraJane your in the shallow water! Trying to make it sound like I was just doing it for attention :-) Sounds a bit like something my big brother Sean would do.
I wish I had some pictures to share but I forgot my camera. I will definitely take some pictures during my half marathon coming up a week from this Sunday. Love and miss you all!
Next week I officially start my marathon training for the Philadelphia Marathon November 22. I have already ran as long as 15 miles at one time. Over the next few months I will do weekly runs that are more than that.
Marathons are one of the few races that you don't run that distance or more in your training. They find it to be more of a hindrance rather than a help. My longest run will be 23 miles. So Saturday I generally do my long run...nice and slow. My dog loves these runs! During the week I run 3 or so times and go to the gym to cross train.
Today I ran for an hour...but it was very humid and gross out. That can make a run difficult. I am proud of myself for adapting to be able to run in the summers here. I still try to get up early but the problem is when it cools off, the humidity rises.
A lot of people think that I am gung hoe for every run. I promise you I am not. I have to fight the same battles that everyone else does. The thoughts of "maybe I can just sleep in today", "I don't want to run", "Really if I just skip today will it matter". The thing that motivates me is one...my dog loves to run, two....I like the quiet peaceful time to think and pray, three...I like how it makes me feel.
I have officially signed up for the Philadelphia Marathon (26.2 miles) for November 22 of this year. I have been antsy to do another marathon since I ran the Portland Marathon a little while ago.
Training for a marathon is something that requires discipline, focus and desire. But to be honest if you have the desire...the other things will fall into place. I used to help with a program that trained people who never thought they could run a marathon to be able to do so. It was so much fun for me to see people reach their individual goals and do something that very few people ever accomplish by running a marathon.
My longest run currently is 15 miles and I still have lots of time till I have to run it. I am definitely ahead of schedule but with a marathon even the best laid plans may not work. It is so easy to get injured or have something interfere.
Keep posted here to see the ups and downs of training for a marathon.
So I found out that I was accepted to Excelsior's nursing program. A chance to start over and finish the dream that I know was placed on my heart by God. I plan to take my first 2 or 3 exams here very shortly. I have a total of 8 exams. Once those are finished I will take a 2 1/2 day clinical exam which means I will have to travel somewhere and may have to wait 4 months for. My goal is to be finished by January but in all reality I am learning very quickly that my plans are not God's plans. And I am also learning that His plans are much better than my own.
Well, life is keeping me busy. I have had a very light work load since school ended because I did not make it on the current schedule and the census is low as usual for the summer so being on call has not proved very fruitful. However, I will have a minimum of 3 days a week on the upcoming schedule and hoping even more on the mid-August schedule.
Despite this I am keeping busy! I am studying to take the exams to finish my RN program which I should know about in 3 weeks. The only reason I wouldn't be accepted is if they decided I had finished less than 50% of nursing school which should not even be a question.
We have a new little one in the family...baby Jolie is 2 weeks old. I have been helping my sister n law out and enjoying lots of holding time with the precious new baby.
I am also getting a lot of running in which has been great. I ran 13.5 miles today with my dog so I am well ahead of where I need to be for the NYC 1/2 marathon in August which is 13.1 miles. I am also training for a marathon this fall. I applied for the lottery in the NYC Marathon (26.2 miles) but did not get in so I am looking at a few others, mainly Philadelphia in November. My main training partner is my dog, but I have found a friend at church who is at the same distance I am and we are a perfect match for running. A few weekends ago we ran 12 miles on a trail in Ridgewood, NJ. It was absolutely gorgeous and we were well protected from the heat with lots of shade.
Besides studying and relaxing I am looking forward to getting back to a regular work schedule. I like schedules. When I am in a schedule and routine I sometimes think that it would be nice to not have that, but in down times I realize how nice it is to have a regular routine and schedule.
Last week the clan added another little girl to the mix. She was born on Tuesday the 23rd at 8lbs. I was commissioned to take care of my niece and nephew for a few days and to celebrate the big event...as well as to keep their minds preoccupied while we waited mommy and baby sisters arrival we spent our last day at the beach. It began as a cloudy and humid day but ended up being 87 degrees and sunny. This was our first real day of summer as we have been bombarded with rain. My roommate Audrey joined us for the day and we had a day of sand castle building, digging a gigantic hole, picking up sea shells, and playing in the waves. I love the beach...it is beautiful and there is no humidity....now that I can call summer.
My niece and nephew chilling at the beach!
What started out as a cloudy and muggy day turned into a beautiful sunny day!
Her sun protection...the darn hat wouldn't stay out of her eyes.
Aunt and niece and no she is not as tall asme...I am just on my knees :-)
He looks like a mini version of his father. Thumbs up dude!
Building sand castles. Waiting for baby sister to come home from the hospital...a perfect way to spend the day waiting.
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Patrick started to dig a big hole and then got Audrey and later me on the task. He thought it would be really cool if it was as deep as him...so we obliged.
He started the hole but it got too deep for him to continue...
So he got Audrey in on it and later me while he gave orders...
It is getting deeper and deeper and deeper!
Wow she says! This is really deep!
They then proceeded to bury me in it and later themselves.
So Faith has had quite the time lately. First she was having some stomach problems, then she injured her front right paw playing Frisbee. Then while we were at the school near by throwing the Frisbee Faith sliced her back left paw. My roommates father said she could walk like an Egyptian...haha (get it right front paw and back left paw injured...ok so you would have to see his impression to make it funny).
Well, Since she sliced her pad on her back foot I have been playing nurse, soaking it, disinfecting it, putting second skin on it and wrapping it in order to heal it up. She is quite the drama queen about the hole deal as well. The first 2 days when we would go walking outside she would limp past her favorite guys at the sweeping company next door to get their sympathy...then as soon as we turned to corner she would trot. She loved to make sure that her bandaged foot was on display for all to see and her sad face was quite pitiful looking.
Initially I put a sock on her foot because it wouldn't stop bleeding. She really didn't like this and kept slapping and kicking her foot in the air and then plopping down with a sad pitiful look. At this point I realized I was going to have to do something else.
This was the final product after soaking the foot, putting second skin on it which acts like a glue, and then wrapping it. She was much more tolerant of this one though this is the one she like to prominently display for all the boys next door to give her sympathy. 
After days of not being allowed to run or chase the Frisbee she has decided she doesn't like me too much and enjoys being with my roommate and her guitar. Months ago, not being able to be active would have been a very bad thing as she would have gone crazy but now as she is about to turn 3 she really seems to be settling and though she would rather go for runs with me she seems to be enjoying lazy napping all day.
My niece came over for a slumber party in April and I finally have a chance to post some pictures. We enjoyed a good night of dancing and playing before sleep overcame us. Enjoy the pictures!
She loves to be flipped around!
Dancing away!
She loves playing with my roommate Miss Audrey!
Pretending to be a model she loves to pose for the camera!
Joining in the fun...I think my niece took this one. 
Audrey, my dog Faith, and my niece dancing to the music.
And finally sleep! She loves my gigantic teddy bear and wanted to use it as a pillow.
Thank you to all of you have sent me notes of encouragement! As difficult as it is not to be back at school and preparing for an August Graduation, I am enjoying some time of much needed rest. I spent today trying to find out what my options are.
The crazy thing is that many nursing schools do not recognize another schools nursing credits. So many of the schools were telling me either I would have to start completely over or that I would get credit for nursing 1 leaving me 3 other nursing classes to take. Ugg how annoying! However, I found a program that you have to have finished more than 50% of your clinical hours and nursing classes, which I have, and then you qualify to be in there program.
The way it works is that you have to take a series of as many as 8 exams to show your knowledge of the material, do a simulated clinical nursing exam as well as travel to a site for a 2 1/2 day clinical test where they check that you know your skills. I should be able to get some credit for my nursing classes so the 8 exams are likely going to be less.
The benefit to this program is that I have already done the clinical time so I don't have to make it up, just prove to them I know my stuff. The rest is self paced, just prepare for the exam and schedule a time to take it. I can work 3/4 time or full time while I finish. And in the worst case scenario (like taking all 8 exams) my total cost would be less than one semester at my current school or many others at a whopping $4115. That is only if I were to receive no credit for my current classes which they thought I should be able to do. The other benefit is that I have not missed an admissions deadline as I have at many or most schools for the fall because I can start as soon as they evaluate my credits.
My obvious first choice would have been to graduate in August but I can see now how this can work out which really helps. In all reality I get my life back, I have a new niece coming any day now which I can help out with and I can really study the material and be well prepared for the RN exam I will have to take for my license.
It will be a few weeks before I know anything but I will keep you posted. Thanks for the prayers.
As I write this blog, I have a sureal feeling. A feeling like "this isn't really happening!" And yet at the same time a feeling of immense peace and knowledge that God is in control and He never gives us more than we can handle...that He has a purpose in EVERYTHING! He even has a purpose in me failing out of nursing school. My pride is shot, my emotions are raw but the reality is that I did everything in my power to change this decision but I failed my math exams not once but 3 times. I allowed my confidence or lack there of to get the best of me on this and now I am at the mercy of the school. Unfortunately the school is going to hold to the policy.
I know many of you are going to have questions: Can't you do this or that to change there mind, or what are you going to do now? Well I don't have answers to those questions right now. I have done everything in my power to change the outcome but ultimately it is not in my hands. Now I have to put my energy and focus toward something I can fix which is how do I take what I have and turn it into a nursing degree elsewhere. I am a fighter and I won't give up that you can know for sure. I just have to figure out what my fight is through lots of prayer and searching.
There is a song by Casting Crowns that has been ringing in my head since I learned of this today.
Praise You in This Storm
words by Mark Hall/music by Mark Hall and Bernie Herms
I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.
Chorus:
And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away
Chorus
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
Today I have too choices! One choice is to feel self pity and question everything I did or didn't do. Or I can choose to stand strong, move forward and praise God in this storm. I choose the latter! He has prooven Himself over and over to me and I have to remember that His word says "He will never leave nor forsake us!" and that means now, and in the future. My hope is in him and that brings me hope in this situation.
Thank you to everyone who has encouraged and supported me through this situation. Part of me feels I let you down! But I know that there is a lot of life ahead of me and just because things aren't as I planned doesnt mean that things are over.
God Bless!
