A good day!

(Our snow covered Park!!!)

(See that small river/stream...we have quickly learned that we need to have someone stand between that and our sledding hill....a few close calls of sledders almost going for a swim!)

This morning I work up at 6am to snow and the report that school was closed for the day. Yeah!!!! I was too awake to go back to sleep being that my body is used to waking up at 5am. So I took my dog out to play in the snow, made cinnamon rolls, studied for a few hours and traipsed off with my dog to my family's house. I promised my nephew some sledding and that we did. Unfortunately the snow was very wet, and it had begun to rain so the sledding was short and we were VERY wet. After some good conversation with my sister n law my dog and I walked back home.

(Aren't I so cute!!! By the way...I am almost as tall as my aunt. Seriously! Either I am tall or she is short...or maybe it is a little of both!)

The rest of the day has been cleaning, organizing my school stuff and more studying. I am enjoying my school work this semester. It is focused now on diseases and specifically diseases of the cardiac system. I started off my semester with a bang, when on Monday I had to take my first exam. It was our once a semester math exam that covers dosing, and IV rates. This exam we have to pass with and 80% or we have to take it again and if we don't pass it the second time we are dropped from the program. Math is not my strong point and I never took this class. Somehow I manage to review the information last Summer over a 2 week period and barely squeezed by on the challenge exam. Well Monday I passed with a whopping 100%. Hopefully that is a sign of things to come.

(Sledding with Daddy! My favorite!)

Well, 3 more hours till Bible study at church so I better get back to the studying. Hope all is well with everyone and love the notes that you guys drop me. I am blessed to have so many people who care enough to follow this blog and encourage me through comments and emails. Please pray that this semester I will have a more balanced approach. I allowed it to consume me sooo much that I had no time for anything else and in the end I was so burnt out that I had nothing left for the last few weeks. I truly believe that taking a few minutes here and there for things I enjoy and for myself will make this semester less stressful and more productive.

(I think my big brother is tired of getting wet and wants to go home!)

Africa

So I have been thinking lately that this may be a good year to meet one of my lifelong goals. For a long time I have longed to go to Africa to work with the people and especially the children. With the AIDS epidemic, inter tribal warfare, and poverty, there is a great need for humanitarian assistance.

I have recently learned that I will take an RN review course at the end of August and that around the end of September and beginning of October is when I can expect to take my RN NCLEX exam for my license. This will leave me with a few weeks after school where I cannot work for a hospital. Many hospitals will hire you contingent of you passing your boards and once you receive your license you begin your 6 month training period with the hospital. I am thinking that I may consider using that few week break to go to Africa with a group of people to use my new found nursing skills and work with children.

I have no idea if this will work, or how it will work but it is something that I at least want to consider. It may be a few years once I begin working before I can begin doing trips like these. In the long run, one of the biggest reasons I got my nursing degree was that I wanted to have the flexibility and ability to do trips like these. Where I will go, who I will go with, and how it will work is all up in the air, I am just praying that if this is the right time that the right opportunity will come along. Please pray for me as I continue nursing school and as I look forward to opportunities like this in the future.

BRRRR!!!

After many days of freezing temperatures including temperatures below zero last Thursday and Friday felt like summer. On Friday we had temperatures around 44. I was working on the mother baby unit at our hospital and spent much of the afternoon helping new parents carry their belongings to the car as they took their newborns home. I went out in my scrubs and it felt wonderful. This is after I have been wearing multiple layers and often 2 jackets in an attempt to stay moderately comfortable.

Many in NJ tell me that my first winter here is quite a winter with colder temperatures and plenty of snow. It seems as though just about every week we have been having snow. Sometimes it doesn't account to much while others have been enough to enjoy. Our last storm last weekend brought us 4-6 inches over a 2 or 3 day period. The weathermen said we narrowly missed a storm that would have brought us more than a foot of snow. Well, now this week we are looking at significant snow around Wed and Thursday.

I do love the snow, but if I could have warmth and snow at the same time that would be great. But science tells me that is impossible. One thing is for sure...NJ is ready for snow. What use to shut Portland down as a city, does not even seem to faze people here in NJ. It seems that nearly every truck drives around with snow plows on the front. The salt keeps the roads from freezing and plasters our cars.

One thing I miss about Portland is the weather. I loved every season and every season was unique. Summer and Fall were my favorite. I have now lived her for a Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter. Summer and Winter are such extremes, I don't know how much I enjoy them. The summer with its extreme humidity...so much I did not like going outside. I think this was the first summer I didn't have dark skin. And the winter with its wind chill factor often putting temperatures in the teens and below zero temps. I do have to say that Fall here is incredible with its leaves changing colors and beautiful weather.

Ok enough about the weather. Blessings to all!

Graduation!!!!

We finally have a graduation scheduled. Many of you may not know that our program normally starts in January and goes through to December. All of our programs have ending dates in December so that is when our school graduation is. Originally they planned to have us wait till December to graduate though we would be finished August 14th. However, our faculty has persuaded them that by then we would be working and many would not be in the area making it highly unlikely that everyone would return. So now we will get our very own graduation. We started with 29 and are now down to 23. Whether it is 23 or less it will be a very small quaint graduation.

Our graduation/pinning ceremony is scheduled for Thurs Aug 27th in the evening. They say that the ceremony is beautiful and unlike any other ceremony. I guess we will see. However, we do have to wear those ridiculous old school nurses uniforms... you know the ones with the skirts and the hat. Ugg! I guess by that point I would wear a bear suit after all that I went through to get to that point :-).

So mark on your calenders that date and I would love to have you come! All are welcome and I have no limit on the amount of people to come so if you are interested then you are welcome. We will plan a fun day in NYC for that weekend as well. Counting down the days and looking forward to crossing that stage.

School has started!

Yesterday was my first day back to school in nearly 4 weeks. It was great to have such a long break but it was almost too long if I dare say. In about 3 weeks I am sure I will look back on that time and wish for it back. Since now we are on a 7 month stretch with only 2 one week breaks.

We did not start slow. We jumped right back into it with studying the heart and cardiac complications. Tomorrow we will be going to the hospital to have a special training on Mechanical ventilation for when we are doing our clinical rotations on the critical care units like ICU and CCU. This semester we begin to learn how to take care of patients with critical health issues who require specialized care like Cardiac patients in heart failure, patients with kidney diseases and kidney failure, Neurological trauma, and spinal cord injury just to name a few. I am excited to be back but dreading the endless days.

Over the break I resolved to revamp how I approach this semester. Last semester was so stressful and though I am rarely sick, I spent much of my break sick probably from the stress I had been feeling. I pretty much said no to anything other than studying and I don't think that was the right approach to take. By the end I was so burnt out I couldn't even think straight. Things were just flowing in one ear and out the other. I am trying to take a more relaxed approach this semester and making a point to exercise regularly and do something fun every once in a while. While at the same time, making my study times count more.

One blessing that I received this week was the knowledge that our schedule had changed. Originally we were going to be going to the hospital Wed, Thurs and Friday. This meant that after class on Tuesdays we would have to go spend 2 hours at the hospital doing patient research and then the rest of the evening preparing for the rest of the week caring for our patient. This meant going till 11pm or midnight. Then on our clinical days we had to do quite a bit of paperwork that hindered my ability to work as well as study. This would have only left Monday, Friday and the weekend to study and not much room for work or anything else. Well, since there was a conflict with another program they have changed our clinical days to only Thurs and Friday and part of our scheduled class time on Wed will be given to patient research. No longer having to do it after class is over. This opens my schedule up so that I can continue to work and have plenty of time to study. I was really nervous I wouldn't be able to keep working which I needed to do.

Well, my first test will be on February 9th! Time to prepare and study!

Proud moment!!!!

Ok, most people have proud moments to share about their kids. Me, I don't have any yet, but I do have a dog. She is an Australian shepherd who is about the sweetest dog you will meet. When I made the decision to move across country I figured that she would handle it in stride because she seemed to be so laid back. However, on day 3 of my drive across country last February, she made a run for it from my car, by jumping out the partially opened window and high tailed it right back towards home. Mind you this was along the side of a major highway. Thank God for a trooper who was able to catch her. At that point I realized she was not going to handle it in stride. It wasn't long after arriving in NJ that she decided to be a scardy cat. She had sooo much anxiety outside of our apartment I could not greet her to any dogs or people.

Well, nearly a year later, and I have one different dog. She goes on walks and is relaxed. I can take her to the dog park where she loves to be the princess of the park. And now today, we were able to walk the 3 1/2 blocks to the field off leash in a complete heel. A heel means that she is right by my side, following my every move. If I stop she stops and sits and when I walk she walks at whatever pace required to keep her head by my knee. I have been able to do this on leash for a while but off leash, this is the first time it really clicked. Now mind you I had the opportunity to do this outside of a field because it is only 1 degree outside, so NO one is out. None the less, I am very proud of the accomplishment.



One of my greatest desires is to have a dog that I can train for search and rescue. Unfortunately Faith has the smarts and ability but her fearful temperament disqualifies her. As a nurse I intend to be involved in disaster work and would like to have a dog that I can train to work alongside of me. Once I am a nurse and a little more stable, my intention is to get Faith a friend as well as a dog that I can work into this role. Since moving to NJ, I have had the opportunity to meet some people involved in disaster search and rescue dogs and it has only increased my desire. Only time will tell but in the mean time I have 7 months of school to finish. Finish line here I come.

I will rise!

The song "I will rise" was a song that I heard today in church. It is a song that is written to people facing a tough challenge of some sort and talks about a peace that we can come to know. The idea that "it is well".

It reminds me a bit of the old hymn "It is well with my soul." This hymn was written by a man who had lost his son, his investments, and all his daughters in separate tragedies. "When peace, like a river, attendeth my way, When sorrows like sea billows roll; Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say, It is well, it is well, with my soul. My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought! My sin, not in part but the whole, Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more, Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!" Though sorrows so great had hit the author, he was able to say "It is well."

The song "I will Rise" refers to the fact that in trials and tribulations, I will rise, because Jesus has overcome the grave. Not only did He overcome the grave but in going to the grave He paid the price for my sins. My sins were nailed to the cross and "I bear it no more" That is grace and mercy.

"Mercy is God's favor that holds back from us what we deserve. Grace is God's favor that gives us what we do not deserve." Rolfe Barnard

I think this is the understanding that the author of "It is Well with my soul" had for him to be able to truly say that after much trial and tribulation it truly is well! It is a concept I am slowly coming to understand in my life. Not that I face such great trials but even in the little things I desire to say it truly is well with my soul. No matter what may strike me I know that the grave has been overcome and that I have absolutely nothing to fear.

Enjoy!



Chris Tomlin I Will Rise Lyrics:
There's a peace I've come to know
Though my heart and flesh may fail
There's an anchor for my soul
I can say "It is well"

Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead

[Chorus:]
And I will rise when
He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees And rise
I will rise

There's a day that's drawing near
When this darkness breaks to light
And the shadows disappear
And my faith shall be my eyes
[ Find more Lyrics at www.mp3lyrics.org/HuT9 ]

Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead

[Chorus:]
And I will rise when
He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees And rise
I will rise

And I hear the voice of
many angels sing,
"Worthy is the Lamb"
And I hear the cry of
every longing heart,
"Worthy is the Lamb" [x2]

[Chorus:]
And I will rise when
He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees And rise
I will rise

Ohh for the love of dentists!

I have spent my whole life with dentists as many of you know. Following two major jaw surgeries, I had some work that still needed to be completed in order to protect the work that they did in those surgeries. Well, with school I had put it off and thought with the break I could fit in 2 appointments to finish the work.

Well, 6 appointments later and one more still to come, I guess it was good I had a few weeks off. I went in to have some crowns put on which is a 2 apt process on the Thursday before Christmas. They told me to expect some pain and tenderness for a few days but then it should be fine. Well, Tuesday before Christmas I woke up to excruciating pain. Due to the holiday weekend I could not get back in until the Monday after Christmas. Thank God for Vicodin as it was the only way I got through the pain. When I went back in they determined I needed a root canal with a specialist. My roommate drove me so that I could be sedated, since I cannot hold my jaw open for long periods of time without severe pain. However, the dentist convinced me I didn't need to be sedated. That was a big mistake. Two procedures later and feeling every bit of it I am finally pain free. Now I just have one more apt to finish the work.

Ohh, how we love our dentists.

Check out the new posts below!

I blogged two new posts but they ended up down a ways. Look to Dec 20-21 and you will see our snow day pics.

I am still on break and enjoying some time off. I was hoping to get some extra work in but have been sick. I must have caught a nasty stomach virus too which I have not been able to keep anything in me for the past 24 hours. Oh well, at least it won't interfere with school. I still have another week off but as crazy as it sounds I am looking forward to getting back to a schedule. I am sure I will change my mind a month from now when i am drowning with too much to do.

Update

I have so much to blog and update you on but I will just give you a short glimpse until I am home tonight and can add pictures.

I finished my semester on December 23rd following a snowy weekend here in NJ. Since my time off I have had a lot of time to just relax and reevaluate things. It is amazing how consuming nursing school is. It consumes ever waking second, unfortunately to the detriment of many other things. This few weeks I am trying to reevaluate how I can do well in nursing school and not lose sight of the other things that are important in my life. Maybe with a bit of balance I will do better in school.

Today in church we sang a song that really hits home for me. It talks about a thousand times that I fail and yet Gods mercy remains. Even as I stumble I find myself in his Grace. What a powerful thought. Does this mean I can continue to willingly stumble??? No, but it does wipe away the guilt and opens up the empowerment to move forward and daily reevaluate my priorities and choices.

Here is the song on you tube and below is the lyrics:





From the inside out:
A thousand times I've failed
Still your mercy remains
And should I stumble again
Still I'm caught in your grace

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
In my heart, in my soul, Lord I give you control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

Your will above all else, my purpose remains
The art of losing myself in bringing you praise

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
In my heart, in my soul, Lord I give you control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

Chorus 2x
Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise
From the inside out Lord, my soul cries out

Snow day number 2!

On Saturday following our snow day, I went with my brother, my nephew, and his friend back to the sledding hill by their house. Someone had created a small jump which turned out to be quite the ride. Here are some pictures. Enjoy!

Good Friends



He loved the challenge of this jump. My nephew on the other hand was not about to go on it by himself.


Sean convinced me to go down on the saucer. Not only did it spin but it went faster. After this picture I ended up flipping over my back and kinking my neck. I think I need a chiropractor now.


More crazy shots!

Oh my hiney!!!

Going down without the sled. He liked to try to avoid the jump by going on his belly.

Me and the boys!!!

Take a look at the boys face. Classic!!
Ohh that was a rough landing. I think our backsides are going to feel that one.
But no fear we are tough!!!!

Snow day!

The weekend before my finals in December we received snow. At around 10am the snow started to fall and it went all day. By the time it was finished we had received 8+ inches of snow. My nephew called and asked if I would take him sledding so my roommate and I bundled up and brought Faith along. We walked over to their house and were able to let Faith run. Faith enjoyed being tied to the sled and pulling the kids like a sled dog. The kids thought it was the best thing ever. Unfortunately the few pictures we tried of that did not come out.

My niece went out for a short time but explained to me that she does not like snow because it is too cold. My nephew on the other hand had a blast sledding down the hill by their house.

Audrey and I then walked Faith back home, dropped her off and trekked out to the diner about a mile away. When we sat down to eat, I couldn't believe how much food I was able to pack away. We had been outside walking for more than 4 hours through lots of snow.

This weekend we are expecting snow as well. Oh how I love the snow. Though, I have learned that where I live...snow and sleep don't go well together. My bedroom window butts up to the driveway for the local sweeping company. And when it is snowy or icy out, they are in and out of that driveway all night with there tractor to reload the trucks with salt. Between the flashing lights, the beeping of the trucks (in reverse), and the scraping of the tractor shoveling up salt, there is not much room for sleep.

Faith and Audrey (my roommate) ready to go to the park!

Making snow angels

Faith being a good dog! She was like a crazy woman in the snow.

update

Monday is my final test for this semester and it is worth 40% of my grade. It is a cumulative test for the whole semester. I am hitting a bit of a mental wall but have managed to get 2-5 hours of studying in a day so hopefully that will help. Tomorrow I only have the AM to study because of work and then I will have all day Sat and Sunday.

For all of you on the West coast who have been having crazy weather...well you sent it our way. As of now they are predicting 6-10 inches of snow tomorrow starting in the afternoon and accumulating at about an inch per hour. This could be fun considering I go to work at 3 and don't get off till 11:30pm. And being a hospital...weather doesn't stop the sickies so I must go into work. I have been looking forward to snow and it looks as if I might finally get my wish. I wish I wasn't stuck at work though. The only thing I don't want is snow to happen on Sunday into Monday which there has been some talk about. I am ready for this final to be over with so postponing it does not sound like a great option to me. Good thing that is a few days a way...a lot can happen between then and now.

Good night!

One test down and 2 to go!!!

Today I had my skills appraisal test. You go into the school for a half an hour and draw two cards. On these cards is a skill that we have learned during the semester in lab and whatever skill you received you get to perform. Well, I drew IV lines and a wet to dry dressing. My skills went well and I passed with flying colors. Even so it is a bit nerve racking to try to perform your skill exactly by the book with your instructor watching your every move. This is a test you must pass in order to go on in nursing school and 2 people did not pass. However, they will go back next week and try it again as we are given 3 chances.

This Monday is my 6th exam for the class and it is a huge test for me. I did not do well on the last exam and I am at a do or die point of the program. I have been studying 4-8 hours a day trying to prepare for this exam. The next exam is next Monday the 22nd which is our 200pt final. Between these two tests I have 50% of my grade to be determined which is a blessing but also a lot of pressure.

My big brother came up with the idea of a tutor and told me that for my birthday a few weeks ago that he would pay for me to have a couple sessions with a tutor. The problem is that most tutors are just general tutors and it is tough to find someone who has been through nursing school and tutors. We have a tutor at our school but she is an English teacher not a nurse and all she can do is give us strategies for general test taking. She can't help us understand the rationals behind the test questions and how to approach them. Nursing school is not like other schooling and the tests are very different. Straight A students come into it and find themselves with 70's. Well, I found a retired nurse who was also a nursing educator and now does tutoring on the side. She will go over nursing test questions with me on the subject that I will be tested on and then I will give my answer and my rational. We will then evaluate my answer and rational and help me understand, if I got it wrong, how I should have approached the question.

So now we are praying for good scores and for it to just click. It is not an issue of time or understanding as much as it is the fact that the tests have become a speed bump. Once I understand them then the sky is the limit.

Thanks for the many of you sending me notes of encouragement. I don't think I could have made it to this point without it. I am not a quitter or a failure but this program can make you feel like both sometimes. It is tough to keep your head above water let alone swim for the goal. My only solace in it all is that God is my strength and that "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!" This is the door He opened for me and there is no looking down or back just straight ahead. When I finish this program the opportunities ahead of me are endless and many of my life long dreams will then be able to be fulfilled.

Such a sad morning!!!

I went to bed with snow coming down and the cars covered and when I woke up this morning nothing more had happened all evening. I was really looking forward to a beautiful snow covered morning.

I am such a kid when it comes to snow. Many people get annoyed by it but for me it is such a joy and I love it. I love to be surprised and wake up to a full covering of snow. Ahh the simple pleasures of life. I guess I will have to wait till next time.