Time to revamp

Well, unfortunately I don't have better news. The exams boasts a measly 65% pass rate and now I know why. I did not pass my exam. The frustrating thing is, apart from Friday, I don't know that I could have been better prepared and calm. I can resubmit my forms in a week but unfortunately I think I am going to have to wait awhile to be able to pay for it. So now I just wait and see.

Rough beginning, but a fresh start

Yesterday, I started off a bit rough in my lab simulations. Then I allowed myself to get a bit discombobulated and now I have to repeat the lab simulation portion of the test today. Lab simulations was the area I was most concerned about because it was areas that we did not do in nursing school necessarily, I it is hard to practice.

But last night I came home and went over and over them and now again this morning it is feeling like second nature again. I still have till 2pm but once I get to the hospital for my 730 pt, I will be busy right up till then.

This week I have had this verse in my head and could not get it out. "I can do all things, through Christ who gives me strength." Phil 4:13. And coming into this test I knew I needed to rely fully on Christ in order to get through this! It has been a long couple years and this is one of the hardest test I have had to take. But yesterday, as I got in my car a bit frustrated with my self a song came on and it hit home.

Matthew Wests- Strong Enough

You must
You must think I'm strong
To give me what I'm going through

Well, forgive me
Forgive me if I'm wrong
But this looks like more than I can do
On my own

I know I'm not strong enough to be
everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up
I'm not strong enough
Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be
Strong enough
Strong enough
For the both of us

Well, maybe
Maybe that's the point
To reach the point of giving up

Cause when I'm finally
Finally at rock bottom
Well, that's when I start looking up
And reaching out

The past 2 years, I have reached that point of giving up. This is not the giving up that means I am depressed or discouraged. It is the giving up that says, I recognize that on my own strength and my own accord I can not do enough! But that is where God's grace and mercy has always shown Himself. So today as I return to my do or die scenarios at 2pm, I am looking up, I am reaching out and I am relying on God to give me the strength to accomplish it, the peace of mind to be able to focus, the steady hands to not make stupid errors, and the ability to do the math which has been my nursing school nemesis.

And the amazing thing is, I am was most worried about the wound care station and that is the one that I did so well on. Go figure. :-)

Another amazing thing is, is that my patient this morning, I already have info on what I need to do, and it is very easy. So I am already seeing God's hand as that allowed me to spend last night and this morning reviewing for my labs. God is good, all the time!

Thanks for your support and encouragement!

Today is the day!!!!

It is 9:19am and I just finished going for a run, ironing my nursing uniforms, and now just doing last minute packing. I will be driving 2 1/2 hours up to Albany, NY where I will stay for the weekend. My exam will be taking place at a hospital in downtown Albany.

The first part of the exam starts tonight at 4pm. First we will be oriented to the exam and the weekend. Then we will do the first part of the test. This part consists of mock scenarios. We have to do 2 of the 4 following: IV push, IV piggy back, IM/Sub q injection, or Wound management. We are allowed one repeat if we make a mistake.

Then Saturday morning we arrive at the hospital at 7:30am. We will then be given 2, 2 1/2 hour blocks of time where we will take care of a patient. In this test we are to research the patient, do 3-5 areas of care that they choose for us like Respiratory Assessment, Musculoskeletal management, IV, Medications, etc. Then we must finish all of our documentation on what we did and write a care plan for what we did. If we make a mistake or if we don't finish in the 2 1/2 hours allotted we fail. We will have 2 patients Saturday and 1 on Sunday. 1 is a pediatric patient, and the others are adult patients. We can have one repeat in the pediatric and one in the adult section.

After the 2 scenarios Saturday we are finished unless we have to repeat one of the labs. Then Sunday we arrive for our last 2 1/2 hour scenario at 7:30am. If there are no pt repeats then we would be done after that patient. If there are any repeats it could last till as late as 6pm.

My specific prayers beyond passing are;

No repeats

Calmness (which I have so far)

Documentation would go smoothly

Care plan (this is a very subjective area and as I have sent in multiple care plans for review each person is looking for something different) please pray that this will not be an issue.

That things would go smoothly as if I do it every day and that my memory would be quick and clear.

I believe God has me at this point for a reason, and I believe firmly that I am going to get through this weekend with His help. I don't know if it is the process of going through brain surgery and all that I went through the past year or two, but I have such a different perspective on life. I have no doubt God is a God of His word and when He says in the Bible, "I will never leave you nor forsake you!" He means it. When He says, "I love you with an everlasting love!" He means it! When He says, "You can do all things through Christ who gives you strength!" He means it! Sometimes things don't go the way we want them to go but I am learning that often it is not the route that was best for me but I just couldn't see that then.

As all goes well, and as God guides me, I will be an uncertified nurse at the end of this weekend! Thanks to everyone who has supported me and encouraged me over the past few years as I struggled through this process!

Back to work

Tuesday, I was able to return to work 4 1/2 months after surgery! It is a slower time for the hospital so it makes it a good time to transition back in. But I am able to do all of my work with no pain! Praise God for that! It is nice to be back into the full swing of things. in 8 days I will start my last nursing exam. Yeah for changes on the horizon!

Moving

Again another God thing!!! Over the past few months the Lord has laid some things on my heart but my current living situation would not work. So a while ago I told my roommate that I was looking to move but not in any particular time frame. I knew that she needed time to find another roommate. Well, she found a roommate and was looking to move July 1st.

With my exam coming up and beginning work next week I didn't feel like I had a lot of time to search. But God took care of that for me! I found a place on Tuesday. And I returned yesterday to check it a second time and turned in my paperwork to accept the apartment. Not only is it amazing how quickly it came but the details too.

I wanted a 1 bedroom with office or a 2 bedroom, no carpets, allow pets, top floor, and a few other details. My price range made this a tough feat. Well, the apartment I found is on the 3rd floor of a 3 family house that is owned by a old Italian couple straight from Italy. The apartment is huge and has a very big bedroom and a second room the size of my current bedroom. It has a good size kitchen, living room and small sitting room. All this and it fit my requests to a T!

I decided to wait and look at another place the next day. The amazing thing is that I went to see the other place and the guy never showed up or answered my calls. But just seeing the outside of the place and I knew the apt I found was a great deal. All this and I don't have to worry about looking while I return to work and continue studying for my exam.

Nursing exam

2 weeks and 1 day will begin the beginning of my 2 1/2 day exam. This is my last clinical exam and after passing it I will be able to sit for my NCLEX exam to receive my license. I can't believe how quickly it is coming. Part of me wants this to come quickly so I can get it over with but the other part of me wants it to never come.

The exam consists of showing up at 4pm on Friday night. The first night will be an orientation and the lab simulation. During the lab simulation we will be given 2 of the 4 following tasks to accomplish in a set time frame. These will be done in a mock situation. The tasks include wound management, IV Push (giving meds through the IV), IV injection, and IV piggy back (hanging a med as a secondary IV bag). I feel pretty good about these even though I don't have much hands on with them over the past year. I have practiced them at home with a make shift set-up. I am just praying that I won't get the wound one as that one has a lot of areas where you can make simple mistakes and fail. If I fail any of these I will be given one repeat.

Saturday we go to the hospital and will be given 2 patients to care for. We will have 2 1/2 hours to accomplish the given task on each patient. We have 3-5 tasks that we are asked to complete and then we must write out a care plan and document everything in that 2 1/2 hours. Saturday we have 2 patients and Sunday we have 1. 2 of the patients are adults and 1 is supposed to be a child. If at any point we fail we will be given one extra chance on the adults and one extra chance on the pediatric.

If all goes well I could be out of there by noon on Sunday. If I make a mistake I would be there till 5 or 6. I am truly praying for this to go smoothly and that there are no repeats. I know that once you have to repeat a step it becomes more difficult because they are more critical and you are more nervous.

I have been preparing and praying for this and feel an incredible peace about it. I can't explain this peace except that it is straight from God. In all reality I have not had hands on experience in over a year and the passing rate is only 65%. But I feel as though God is preparing the way and helping me have a confidence that I can't explain. I am definitely looking forward to this being in the past. And I would definitely appreciate all the prayers I can get for that weekend. I know it is those prayers that will give me the strength to get through the weekend.