Rough beginning, but a fresh start

Yesterday, I started off a bit rough in my lab simulations. Then I allowed myself to get a bit discombobulated and now I have to repeat the lab simulation portion of the test today. Lab simulations was the area I was most concerned about because it was areas that we did not do in nursing school necessarily, I it is hard to practice.

But last night I came home and went over and over them and now again this morning it is feeling like second nature again. I still have till 2pm but once I get to the hospital for my 730 pt, I will be busy right up till then.

This week I have had this verse in my head and could not get it out. "I can do all things, through Christ who gives me strength." Phil 4:13. And coming into this test I knew I needed to rely fully on Christ in order to get through this! It has been a long couple years and this is one of the hardest test I have had to take. But yesterday, as I got in my car a bit frustrated with my self a song came on and it hit home.

Matthew Wests- Strong Enough

You must
You must think I'm strong
To give me what I'm going through

Well, forgive me
Forgive me if I'm wrong
But this looks like more than I can do
On my own

I know I'm not strong enough to be
everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up
I'm not strong enough
Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be
Strong enough
Strong enough
For the both of us

Well, maybe
Maybe that's the point
To reach the point of giving up

Cause when I'm finally
Finally at rock bottom
Well, that's when I start looking up
And reaching out

The past 2 years, I have reached that point of giving up. This is not the giving up that means I am depressed or discouraged. It is the giving up that says, I recognize that on my own strength and my own accord I can not do enough! But that is where God's grace and mercy has always shown Himself. So today as I return to my do or die scenarios at 2pm, I am looking up, I am reaching out and I am relying on God to give me the strength to accomplish it, the peace of mind to be able to focus, the steady hands to not make stupid errors, and the ability to do the math which has been my nursing school nemesis.

And the amazing thing is, I am was most worried about the wound care station and that is the one that I did so well on. Go figure. :-)

Another amazing thing is, is that my patient this morning, I already have info on what I need to do, and it is very easy. So I am already seeing God's hand as that allowed me to spend last night and this morning reviewing for my labs. God is good, all the time!

Thanks for your support and encouragement!