Finding peace in the Storm!

As I write this blog, I have a sureal feeling. A feeling like "this isn't really happening!" And yet at the same time a feeling of immense peace and knowledge that God is in control and He never gives us more than we can handle...that He has a purpose in EVERYTHING! He even has a purpose in me failing out of nursing school. My pride is shot, my emotions are raw but the reality is that I did everything in my power to change this decision but I failed my math exams not once but 3 times. I allowed my confidence or lack there of to get the best of me on this and now I am at the mercy of the school. Unfortunately the school is going to hold to the policy.

I know many of you are going to have questions: Can't you do this or that to change there mind, or what are you going to do now? Well I don't have answers to those questions right now. I have done everything in my power to change the outcome but ultimately it is not in my hands. Now I have to put my energy and focus toward something I can fix which is how do I take what I have and turn it into a nursing degree elsewhere. I am a fighter and I won't give up that you can know for sure. I just have to figure out what my fight is through lots of prayer and searching.


There is a song by Casting Crowns that has been ringing in my head since I learned of this today.

Praise You in This Storm
words by Mark Hall/music by Mark Hall and Bernie Herms

I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

Chorus:
And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away

Chorus

I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth


Today I have too choices! One choice is to feel self pity and question everything I did or didn't do. Or I can choose to stand strong, move forward and praise God in this storm. I choose the latter! He has prooven Himself over and over to me and I have to remember that His word says "He will never leave nor forsake us!" and that means now, and in the future. My hope is in him and that brings me hope in this situation.

Thank you to everyone who has encouraged and supported me through this situation. Part of me feels I let you down! But I know that there is a lot of life ahead of me and just because things aren't as I planned doesnt mean that things are over.

God Bless!