Spoiled in April!

They say April showers brings May flowers! However, I must say I have been spoiled since Friday with weather in the 80's and 90's. It is not often in NJ that you get those kinds of temps with relatively low humidity and I know before long the energy zapping humidity will arrive. In the mean time I enjoyed 5 days of absolutely gorgeous weather. Today was 92 and now I can see a thunderstorm is brewing to bring in the more seasonal temperatures and rain. Have I mentioned I love thunderstorms and they are quite regular around here. It is the kind of thunder that feels like it is right inside your bedroom and the lightning brightens up the sky.

As for my exams they area quickly coming. All I need are 70's and I am on to semester 3. This is an improvement from last semester when at this time I was not passing the program and had to fight to pull my grade up. Though due to the material it is a tough or tougher feat to maintain my grade. I have been blessed to have a few weeks off work, and there is no way I could do it without that. I am like a walking zombie, but I know that when that 3rd semester starts, I will be rejuvinated as I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

There are big things on the horizon that I am very excited about. I graduate Aug 27th, will hopefully take the NCLEX exam for my license the first or second week of September. There is a possibility on the horizon of going to Africa for 2-3 weeks during the interim to work as a nurse while I wait for my license to be able to work. This would be an awesome opportunity and learning experience. It is one of the biggest reasons I went into nursing and it is a good chance to do something before I start into the routine of work.

On a more serious note, I have begun the process of applying for the Army Nurses Corps reserve program. This is a great opportunity to serve my country and to receive some great training in disaster and mass casualty work which is the area of Nursing that I have wanted to do. The Army nurses are trained as leaders, and how to handle disasters in a way that is well respected in the civilian world. Not only will they pay most of my school loans off in only 3 years, I will have the opportunity to get my Masters paid for. I know this is a serious decision, and it is one that I have considered and prayed about for a very long time. The more I look into it the more I am excited about the opportunity. I recognize the possiblity of being deployed and I am fine with that. The process is long and I won't know much till the end of the summer. In the mean time I focus on school and surviving this year.

Please continue to pray for me, for strength, for purity, for focus, and for my exams May 11th and 15th. Miss you all!

Could there be any better distraction!

After a very tough week, I enjoyed a bit of a leisurely day. It was a sunny, gorgeous, 89 degree day. I got up and went for a run and then took my dog to the dog park and enjoyed a few hours in the park with some friends from church. It was so relaxing and refreshing for me. We are expecting this kind of weather through Tuesday or so. It feels a bit like an Oregon summer with the warm weather and no humidity. I know that it won't be something I will get to enjoy for long as the humidity will move in soon.

Following a nice long nap, I have resumed my studies for the final 2 1/2 weeks. I have an exam on May 11 and our final on May 15th which is worth 40% of our grade. I can't tell you how much I am looking forward to this semester ending!

Bang bang your dead!

Bang bang your dead, is a new phrase around our apartment! I have been teaching my dog, Faith, some tricks. First it was shake, then high five and now it is "bang bang your dead". The outcome should be her laying on her side with her head down. This has been quite fun to teach and I only started it last night. At first I had her start in a down position and when I would say our favorite phrase I would roll her to her side and give her a treat. However, today she has decided that any position with the head down should work and after a few times of saying it she acts like you are really trying to shoot her and she hides between your leg like she is scared. I guess we will have to take a short furlough from this trick and move on to another trick.

How quick can a week pass?

At this point I am wishing it was done yesterday! This week has been a week I think I could have done without. It began Monday morning with an exam I had studied a lot for and when all was said and done what was to be an "easy" test became one of our worst. Worst only for the fact that it was from left field, the way the questions were worded were ridiculous. Well needless to say it was not my best grade ever. Now 2 more weeks and 2 more exams.

Then yesterday, well that was a day in itself. It was exam review and per usual conduct they refused to give valid reasons why an answer was right. Ugg, what is the point of these reviews...I don't learn from them...it is just a time to get frustrated. Well, afterwards I was pulled into the office and bombarded by 3 instructors. If I told you all they said I don't think you would believe it. I am telling you if it wasn't for the fact that I am sooooo close to being finished and the fact that in order to transfer my credits is near impossible, I might just walk out. The program is unorganized and unprofessional. What instructor is allowed to get away with telling a person in front of the entire class "I am sick of hearing your voice"? Well, I guess ours are.

Well, time to head off to clinicals, and hopefully get to the weekend as quick as possible without incident. On the positive note....it is going to be in the 80's this weekend! Yeah!

Hope!!!

Many, O LORD my God,
are the wonders you have done.
The things you planned for us
no one can recount to you;
were I to speak and tell of them,
they would be too many to declare.

Psalm 40:5

I was reading a story about a pastor of a church in a jungle. He was sharing how important rain was to them. "without it, wells will dry up, crops will die and the temperature will continue to rise." He was saying that if it rained for more than 5 minutes there you knew that the rain would continue all day long and if it was less then 5 minutes that was it. One Sunday he was sitting under a tree where they had church (not in a building) and realized that in the 14 months that he had lived there no church service had ever been cancelled for rain. He said he felt as if God was saying "Of course not. You meet under a tree. You can't have church if it's raining. I've got that detail under control."

What an amazing realization. There are so many things we don't ask God for and yet he already has them under control. He knows our needs even before we do. "Before a word is on my tongue, you know it completely, O Lord" Psalm 139:4 He knew us before we were conceived, He knows our thoughts, and our very needs. God is great and mighty but that doesn't stop Him from caring about the minute details of our lives.

The prayer at the end of this devotional was exactly what I needed to hear this weekend!

"Heavenly Father, Sovereign Ruler of the universe, you have everything under control. Thank you that I do not need to feel overwhelmed with what is going on around me. Amen"

As I feel overwhelmed with school, and tests, and all the details of life, He has already cared about the little details. When I think I am at my wits end He does something to show me I can go on! God is mighty which is power, but he is also loving which is gentleness and care. Some people think that God is too big to care about us little people but His Word (the Bible), and His actions speak differently. Thank God for that!

Upcoming test

Monday is the first of our last three exams. I have only one more day of work before I take my leave of absence to finish out the semester. And I have been spending my free time at the library till 9 or 10 at night. Please pray for continued focus, that my brain would absorb all this material and that my test would go well. I am apprehensive about this exam, not because the material is difficult, but because we are back to our head instructor who we have not had all semester long. The material is vast and all over the place and the things I thought she emphasized are not on our test blue print. I miss you all and I am looking forward to finishing nursing and being able to see you all. Thanks for the prayers and constant encouragement.

3 day weekend!

This past weekend was a refreshing and much needed 3 day weekend. Because of Good Friday we had the day off. I enjoyed a day of sleeping in, going for a run, and then studying at the library for 5 or 6 hours.

On Good friday I went to church for our evening service and it was refreshing. We sang worship songs and then between songs they had a different leader in the church come and give a short devotional on the sacrifice of Christ. I took notes and when I get a chance I really want to share it with you. Good Friday is always such a reminder to me of the sacrifice that Christ made for us so that we don't have to pay the price for our sins.

After service I decided to reward myself and go out with a bunch of the young people to the Nutley Diner. And yes it is a Diner. Here on the east coast diners are every where and they serve really good food. It was such a blessing to talk with people and not think about school even if only for a few hours.

Our Easter Sunday Service was a testimony to the power of Christ and that death could not hold Him down. If I remembered daily, the power of Christ, my worries would not be a concern. If he can overcome death, He can help me overcome anything. And the amazing thing is, that as God He is not so big and mighty that He doesn't care. He does and how great is that.

Sunday Evening I had my niece over for a slumber party/dance party. She loves to dance. We had the music cranking and she just rocked away. Going to sleep was quite the experience. She slept in my bed...a queen size bed mind you. Between her and my dog I was sandwiched in. She moves around so much that she was using me as a pillow or a punching bag depending on her position.

I am looking forward to another sleep over when have my 5 day break between semesters...though this time one of us is sleeping on the couch :-)

Crazy days!!!!

5 weeks left, but who is counting? 3 Exams left and nearly 70% of my grade is yet to be determined. No stress right? I wish! As the weather is fighting to change from winter into spring here in NJ, I am fighting to make it through this semester. Once I make it through this semester it is only a whopping 11 weeks of school left and most who have taken this program say a more relaxed semester.

On April 20th I will have my 4th exam then 3 weeks later I will have my 5th exam and then I have a whole 3 days to study for our final which is worth 40% of our grade. I am enjoying the material but my brain is tired. I will have a few days in between semesters and I feel like I could sleep the ENTIRE time.

A few changes are occurring which I hope will lighten up my load a bit. As I mentioned earlier, they changed the schedule policy at work, which has affected my schedule. So, I made a decision to take the last 4 weeks off of work in order to focus on these final 3 exams. We started with 29 students, are down to 23 and currently more than ½ the class is in a failing position. Thank God I am not one of them though I don’t have much room for error with my 72%. These last 3 exams are tough because they are very random in their topics, which make for tough studying.

Once summer session comes I intend to go back to work but only work every other weekend. Because they are cramming 15 weeks into 10 or 11 weeks the days will be longer which will make it nearly impossible to maintain the schedule I have been working. God has graciously provided for me to do this and I am so grateful for it because I don’t think I could have kept up with the schedule I was working.

Please pray for focus, energy to keep going, and that I would be able to do as well or better as I have been doing on tests.

“I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me!”

Praise God He does not give me more than I can handle! Though I feel overwhelmed sometimes, His grace is more than sufficient to get me through!

Bitter Sweet!

I spent more than 14 hours this last weekend at the library studying for an exam that I had already put hours and hours into studying for. I woke up Monday sick and nervous for this test. I have never enjoyed taking exams nor been particularly good, but never so nervous over them like nursing school makes you. Even previous straight A students say the same thing.

When I took the exam I was surprised. Material wise it was much much easier than I expected. But the problem was the wording of the test. The grammar was worthless, and some of the options for answers were not great. When I got finished I really had no idea how to feel. All I know was I was sick until Wednesday, I can't say it wasn't the flu but it felt like it...more likely though it was the stress. It just wears on you after a while. You can only go so much, study so much, absorb so much and I feel like I am at my limit.

Well, I got the test back, and it was a 78%. Yeah, right! Well, I should be ecstatic but I felt like I blew my shot at an awesome grade on a fairly easy exam, material wise. But when we went over the test, it was ridiculous. Things that were directly in the book were said to be wrong. When you showed them the book, they made some excuse for why it didn't work. The reality was they were not going to budge, and they weren't going to give points away. A minimum of 3 questions, with my answers being from the book were not given to me which was the difference between an 85 and a 78. I am happy I have a good grade but I am frustrated by the politics of nursing school, and the lack of real educators, who understand teaching and how to run a program. I am not the only one fighting this problem, it is just seen as the "way" nursing school is. Ugg, I don't like it, but not much I can do right now but keep fighting to keep afloat and become a good nurse.

5 1/2 more weeks and 3 more exams left! Just got to keep moving forward!